7 Ways Living Abroad Rewired My American Instincts

Coming Home Feels Strange

I’m back in America, sitting in a diner under fluorescent lights with a menu as long as a CVS receipt, and I feel… out of sync. Not because I’ve picked up a foreign accent I never studied or because my clothes don’t match the latest trends. It’s deeper than that—like I’m running on a different operating system than everyone around me. After years abroad, I’ve returned with habits that make me stick out in a land of small talk and early bird specials. And honestly? I’m okay with that.

Living in places like France, Ukraine, and Albania didn’t just teach me how to order coffee or haggle at markets. It rewired how I live. Now, back in the U.S., I’m turning heads for things that feel as natural as breathing to me. Here are some habits I brought home from abroad—ones that make me seem odd in my own country—and why I’m actually glad about it.

1. I Stopped Saying “Sorry” All the Time

In America, “sorry” is like confetti—we toss it out for everything. Bump into someone? Sorry. Get bumped into? Sorry. Barista messes up your coffee? Sorry. It’s practically a reflex. But in France, over-apologizing raises suspicion. In Ukraine, it’s even more extreme—say “sorry” for no reason, and people look at you like you’re hiding something.

I once bumped into someone in the Kyiv subway. “Sorry,” I said, out of habit. The guy stared at me like I’d just asked to borrow his wallet. Lesson learned. Abroad, I ditched the constant apologies and saved “sorry” for when it really mattered. Now, back in the U.S., cashiers and coworkers think I’m cold because I don’t mutter “sorry” for every minor mix-up. But to me, it’s about honesty.

Fact is, over-apologizing can dilute its meaning. A 2019 Pew Research Center study found Americans prioritize politeness over assertiveness in social interactions. But after living abroad, I value clarity over performative courtesy. It’s not about being rude—it’s about saying what I mean.

2. Shopping Became a Tactical Mission

Walk into an American supermarket, and you’re handed plastic bags galore. Not so abroad. In France, Ukraine, or Albania, you bring your own bags—or you’re juggling eggs and bread all the way home. I learned this the hard way at a Kyiv market when my plastic bag broke, and I had to cradle a cabbage like a baby.

Now, hitting Trader Joe’s feels like a survival mission. Foldable backpack? Check. Spare tote in my pocket? Check. Cash in case the card machine fails? Always. I pack my groceries like a Tetris champion, and cashiers get confused when I wave off their help. People think I’m paranoid or prepping for the apocalypse.

Here’s the thing: abroad, convenience isn’t guaranteed. If you’re not prepared, you’re out of luck. According to the EPA, Americans generate about 4.9 pounds of trash per person per day, much of it from single-use plastics. In Europe, reusable bags aren’t a lifestyle statement—they’re just normal. I got used to it, and yeah, I quietly judge people who wrap a single kombucha bottle in double plastic.

3. Dinner at 8 PM Is Totally Normal

In America, suggesting dinner after 7 PM is like proposing a midnight hike. Friends ask, “You’re seriously eating that late?” In France, 8 PM is when dinner starts. In Spain, eating earlier is almost rude.

While abroad, I fell in love with late dinners. It’s not just eating—it’s connecting. Sitting back, sipping wine, talking for hours. Here, people are already asking, “You haven’t eaten yet?” by 6 PM. A 2021 YouGov survey showed 60% of Americans eat dinner before 6 PM, while Europeans often eat at 8 PM or later. For me, rushing through dinner feels like rushing through life. I’d rather savor it. Weird? Maybe. But I’m not changing.

4. I Expect Public Transit to Actually Work

In Poland, if a train’s two minutes late, you get an apology announcement. In Germany, you might even get a refund. In the U.S.? If Amtrak shows up on the same day as scheduled, it’s a miracle. After getting used to (mostly) punctual European public transit, I came back with high expectations. Big mistake.

The first time I waited for a train here and heard a garbled “your train is delayed indefinitely” announcement, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Data from the U.S. Bureau of Transportation Statistics shows Amtrak’s on-time performance in 2024 was about 73%, compared to over 90% for many European rail systems. Abroad, punctuality is a form of respect. Here? It’s a bonus. I’m still adjusting to that reality.

5. I Don’t Smile at Strangers Anymore

In Ukraine, smiling at strangers is a red flag—they’ll either get suspicious or check their wallet. I got used to saving my smiles for real moments: a good joke, eye contact with a friend. Not because I’m grumpy, but because it’s genuine.

In America, my neutral face makes people nervous. Cashiers ask, “You okay?” just because I’m not grinning like a toothpaste ad. A 2020 University of Wisconsin study found Americans see smiling as a social norm, while in Eastern Europe, smiles are more meaningful and less freely given. I learned to value that. A smile should be real, not a way to fill silence.

6. I Carry My Own Stuff—And Judge Those Who Don’t

In Europe, you don’t expect free bags, straws, or plastic utensils. You bring your own, or you figure it out. It’s not about environmental activism—it’s just habit. I once walked into a U.S. store with my own bag and cringed watching someone wrap a single apple in plastic. I even offered a stranger at Whole Foods my spare tote, and they looked at me like I was selling insurance.

This isn’t just about waste—it’s about responsibility. The EPA says plastic can take up to 1,000 years to decompose, yet Americans use billions of plastic bags annually. Abroad, I learned a quiet pride in being prepared. It’s a small thing, but it feels grown-up in a world that throws stuff away too fast.

7. I’ve Learned to Love Silence

In America, silence is the enemy. A brief pause? Quick, check your phone or crack a joke. But in places like Georgia or Ukraine, I found a different rhythm. Sitting in a café, sipping coffee, surrounded by people comfortable in quiet. Lunch could pass with just a few words, and it felt… peaceful.

Here, a ten-second pause makes people twitchy. Friends think I’m mad or zoned out when I’m just enjoying the moment. Silence isn’t emptiness—it’s space to think, to be present. A 2023 APA study says excessive social noise can spike stress, but Americans tend to avoid silence. I miss it. And I’m not going back to the noise.

You Don’t Come Back the Same

Living abroad doesn’t just change your habits—it shifts your instincts. You don’t realize it until you’re home, feeling weird for eating dinner “too late” or not apologizing every five seconds. These habits aren’t just souvenirs—they’re a new way of seeing the world. They’re a reminder that “normal” is relative, and that’s okay.

So, what about you? If you’ve lived abroad, what habits did you bring back that make you feel like a stranger in your own country? Drop it in the comments. Let’s share and embrace the weirdness together.